


Into This House We're Born (Into This World We're Thrown)

by kalypsobean



Category: The Hitcher (1986)
Genre: Alternate Format, Amnesia, Crueltide, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 11:39:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8889352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kalypsobean/pseuds/kalypsobean
Summary: Generally, when there's one person left standing and a trail of bodies behind them, you assume they're the guilty one. You assume there's only one person and that they're the guilty one, but neither may be entirely true.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [skazka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/skazka/gifts).



> Title from 'Riders on the Storm' by the Doors, which not-coincidentally inspired the film.

My dad, he was a car salesman. We moved a lot; I guess he was 'following the money' like he always said, you know, when he fought with my mom. He stopped pretending I couldn't hear when it got time for me to go to school; he'd come drag me out of bed and stand me in front of the sofa.

'The boy needs to learn it young,' he said, and he explained it all, same words each time.

 

We didn't have money for college; kids like me didn't get to do anything but follow their dads into the business. Mom was dead by then, so it was just me and him and I guess you'd count Jack. He'd stopped dragging me out of bed, I guess cos I was too big by then, so he slipped the words in when he could.

 

I don't remember much about when he died, but the boss let me stay on, driving the cars around, I guess cos I'm not much good with the numbers and sometimes people, they don't like me much, but I can drive just fine, never getting pulled over, never late. I don't have a family now, so it suits them, I guess, the rest of the guys, with their wives and kids.

 

You see a lot on the road, you know, places, people, things. There's always something to see. Every little town has its thing, you know, to get people to stop there, I guess. I seen a lot of them, anyway, and they're all the same somehow. The paint is faded or chipped, the sign is worn, the diner is used to be bright and shiny like but it just looks tired, small, like the dirt crept in and takes up space. All that dirt from all those people, running from their problems and shedding bits of them, as if they'll disappear if they just get far enough away.

 

_[inaudible]_

 

No, I don't think I have anything to run from, not like that. I got a job, you know, sure I didn't finish school and all, but not everyone has to be smart like that. ... No, my dad didn't touch me or anything like that, he just wanted to make sure I understood how things worked, in the world, and I can't really say anything he said was wrong, you know, now I'm living in it like he was. You got to be careful, you know, with your money and your job and your woman if you got one, your house... he was right about all that, and if I forget, well I got his voice in my head and the scars he gave me to remember it all over.

 

_[inaudible]_

 

No, I said he wasn't like that. You know how boys are, running around and so on, and I was probably worse than most, couldn't focus much, you know, not on school and sometimes my dad would notice at home. "I'm talking to you, Jim," he always said. "In this house we always listen when someone is talking," like in this big disappointed voice, and then he'd always go on as if he hadn't stopped at all. Mum always listened good though, and I tried, but sometimes it just didn't work for me, what she did. I couldn't be still like her, even in quiet time at school.

 

_[inaudible] find school_

 

I liked school, you know, it's a bit like driving around a bit, cos there's always something to do or see and lots of people and they all come in and for those few hours a day they didn't have to think about home. 

 

No, I didn't exactly have trouble in school, I got by okay, you know, my grades were okay, cos I worked as hard as I could so my dad would be proud. I worked so hard the letters got mixed up and I had trouble putting them in order cos I was focusing too much, that's what the teacher said. I didn't have friends, really, but I wasn't bullied, or whatever it's called now, The kids all just had their groups already, the smart kids, the rich kids, the bus kids, so they left me alone. I was okay with that, you know.

 

_let's go back to [inaudible]_

 

No, I never thought about the army. I just missed the war, my dad said it was a right shame, when they stopped calling people up. He said they'd sort me out, you know, make a real man out of me, give me discipline, all that on the posters. I wasn't cut for it anyway, I thought, cos I like watching a lot, you know, not being part of the action, but I like seeing things. Like if I have time, sometimes, I'll sit in one of those diners I said about and just watch every one, you know, the waitress, how she moves around without dropping anything, all graceful and pretty like, even though she's probably tired and her feet hurt and she hasn't been paid for last week and you can see she hasn't slept either, cos sometimes you have to order twice, or wait while she steals a coffee from the machine. Or like, a family, yeah, on holidays, going to the beach, and you can tell it's their first time cos the kids are so excited they tell you about it while their mom pulls them back and smiles at you, one of those tiny smiles that means sorry without actually meaning it, and you're meant to smile back and pretend it's cute, as if you weren't annoyed by having little kids you don't know pulling on your pants.

 

_Let's talk about why... [inaudible] you remember_

 

It was raining, I think. It's a blur in my head. It might not have been raining. I don't even know how I got here, to be honest.

 

_[inaudible] did it feel?_

 

Well, it's Texas, it was warm, you know? I came from Chicago, so it was warmer than I was used to. I had the air pumping but it didn't do much. I couldn't even feel it. I got more from having the window down. Someone's going to buy this car, I was thinking, and they're going to burn up alive in there, it was so hot. That's what it was like, cos I'd been driving for a day, at least, and I couldn't breathe, and then I saw that other car. That smelled real bad, cos of the heat. 

 

_Tell me about [inaudible]_

 

I don't know what to tell you. I don't remember. I remember the smell, and feeling sick, because I remembered that family, saw them somewhere before, on the way, and it was hot, and I remembered my dad taking me hunting, so I'd know where our food came from, and he made me stand in this little shed at the back of his friend's place, and watch him skin this deer, and it was hot in there, and the smell was the same.

 

_[inaudible] remind you of your father [inaudible]_

 

I already said I don't remember. I was driving, it was hot, I saw that car, and I was here. That's it. I don't know what else you want. I'm going to be in trouble for not delivering the car on time, I know that.

 

_[inaudible]_

 

I didn't hurt anyone, okay. That wasn't me. I don't remember. That doesn't mean I did it. You can look for evidence, right? Fingerprints? You can tell it wasn't me. I never touched that family. I didn't do anything wrong.

 

_[inaudible] prints found how do you [inaudible]_

 

That's not right. No, that's not right.

 

_[inaudible] seem distressed._

 

Well, you just accused me of murder. I didn't. I didn't. I don't remember.

 

_Let's go back to [inaudible]._

 

He's dead. My dad has nothing to do with this. He's dead. He died a long time ago. Do you think I killed him too? Is that what you want me to say? I want to go now. 

 

_[inaudible]_

 

I did nothing wrong. I've never done anything wrong. You can't keep me here. I won't let you.

 

_[crashing noise, yelling]_

 

_Can you tell me your name?_

 

John Ryder.

 

_Where were you born, John? Where do you live? What do you do for a living?_

 

Does it matter? That's not what you want to know, is it?

 

_Did you kill your father?_

 

_Did you kill the people [inaudible] Did you do this?_

 

_You're not getting out of the restraints unless you talk to me._

 

Are you sure?

 

_\-- session terminated at four thirty._

 

_Report: Patient exhibits signs of two discrete personalities, seemingly unaware of the other, though the extent of this is unclear. It is likely the patient experienced traumatic abuse as a child and developed the alter as a protector. The patient has been able to function successfully until now. It is unknown what caused the break, if the alter has been dormant for some time. Patient was agitated when I suggested he may have killed his father and other people._

_It is recommended the patient be treated with thorazine and weekly hypnotherapy sessions with a view to recovering memories, ascertaining comorbid conditions, and developing each identity's knowledge of the other. A long term strategy to improve cognitive function should be developed, though reintegration may not be possible. As the patient has been functional up to this point, he may eventually be able to be released into a home. At this stage, however, it is my view that the patient should remain in our care and is unfit to stand trial._

_To do: request medical records from treating physician_


End file.
